The Pull Toward Proximity

I was standing in the cold at a tree lighting ceremony, watching hundreds of people do the same thing, and I kept asking myself: what are we actually doing here?

Nobody needs to stand outside in December to watch a tree light up. You can see better lights on your phone. The hot chocolate is mediocre. The parking is a hassle. And yet people show up. Year after year. Bundled in coats, holding their kids, stamping their feet against the cold.

I think what we’re really doing is seeking proximity. The physical nearness of other people. Not for any practical reason. Just to be close. To feel the warmth of other humans in the cold. To belong to something for an hour.

This connects to what Kerem Durdag said in our recent Campfire Conversation about how prejudice can’t survive closeness. I think loneliness can’t survive it either. The epidemic of isolation so many people are experiencing isn’t caused by a lack of information or entertainment. It’s caused by a lack of proximity.

We have more ways to connect than ever and fewer reasons to be physically close. We can order food without seeing a human. We can work without leaving our house. We can socialize through screens. Convenience has replaced proximity, and we’re paying for it with our wellbeing.

The tree lighting doesn’t fix that. But it reminds us of something our bodies already know: we need to be near each other. Not virtually. Not conceptually. Physically close. That pull toward proximity isn’t nostalgia. It’s biology. And I think it’s love.

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