What Makes You Feel Whole?

I've been around water my whole life. Growing up in Maine, I was riding waves by the time I was four or five. Not surfing. Just a kid in the whitewater, learning what it felt like to let something bigger than him carry him somewhere.

Running captured me after college. In my late 20s and early 30s, I was running 70 to 80 miles a week. It was how I sorted things out. But running takes a toll on your body. Around 40, I started getting serious about surfing. Lessons in Mexico, Hawaii, South Africa. Eventually I got a wetsuit and a board and started surfing in Maine. I started to feel noticeably better on the days I surfed than the days I didn't. It was filling a hole that running used to more consistently fill.

This year, my wife Becca and I committed to seven weeks in Costa Rica. And somewhere along the way, my relationship with surfing changed. It stopped being about how many waves I catch. I got to this place of peacefulness out on the water. Almost like surrender. Less trying to make things happen, more letting them come.

Becca suggested the word flow. I told her I don't think that's right. Flow assumes a certain level of mastery. I'm far from mastery with surfing. But surfing makes me feel whole. Not just whole as an individual. Whole in the sense of being connected to something far greater than me. It's no different than paddling out before the sun comes up while the stars are still out. It's a feeling of awe. And it connects you to something so much bigger than yourself.

So it's not about mastery. It's about wholeness. It's not about flow. It's about practice. And practice is infinite. You just keep tending a relationship.

Read the full piece on Substack.

Learn more about the adventure at www.heart-strong.org