I Left Sara Bareilles a Voicemail

For 2 months I wanted to reach out to Sara Bareilles and couldn't figure out how. Every version I drafted in my head turned into a pitch. I have a book. I have a podcast. I have a nonprofit. All true. All beside the point.

The idea started in July. I was camping, sitting by a lake at dusk, and She Used To Be Mine came on. I've loved that song since I first heard it. This time I heard something different in it. It isn't just about a waitress who doesn't like where she ended up. It's about grieving the loss of who she was. The parts of herself she put away.

Since February I've been writing a children's book about exactly that. Sara and I wrote similar stories. Hers in a song, mine in a book.

Then I went to the first night of her Good Grief tour in Boston. Partway through, she started playing voicemails from strangers. She had given out a phone number and asked people to call and share their story.

That solved my problem. I wasn't reaching out anymore. I was answering.

What I didn't expect was what the message gave me. Telling the whole story in one sitting is where I finally connected two things I'd been carrying separately. The parts of myself I put away for 40 years aren't just something I lost. They're something I'd been grieving.

That's why the book lands with people the way it does. It gives their grief a witness.

Read the full piece on Substack.

Learn more about the adventure at www.heart-strong.org